Toilet seat protector anyone? | citysky's Blog

OK I know I'm not really blogging on here anymore but I just have to unload on the whole public restroom thing in this building. You know I get really pissed with clients sticking their head under the door asking me for their checks. I've ruminated on ways to fool them by changing my shoes, etc. But that's just part of the problem.

The restrooms in this building are filthy. People peeing on the floor. The grout is literally black and there are open sewers on each floor that run through the depth of the building - one connecting to another. The smell is - uh - strong. Unflushed tampons and diapers clogging things up. Somebody's weave stuck to the wet sink. Gross.

So obviously I'm not sitting my butt down on the seat. This means I have to hover over the toilet and with a good 1 - 1.5 inch gap between the stall door and the wall anyone going by can get a good view of me crouching there. It gets even more complicated when I'm trying to keep my badge from strangling me and my pants out of the wet muck on the floor. I used to try and get the last stall to avoid all the traffic going by. Ever since I came upon the day- porter having sex in there though I've avoided that one and just hope for one towards the back. 

But what's got me going are those wafer thin tissue paper seat protectors. Seriously. What exactly is that thing going to protect me from? Do you really think that transparent little barrier is going to ward off the germs coming from a crack ho's butt? I get heavier grade tissue paper packed around my underwear purchase from Victoria's Secret! About the only thing putting one of those down on the seat is going to do is tell you where the puddles of pee are.

So when those fussy little women come in and I hear them spending ten minutes spreading their little blanket out just so I laugh. I wouldn't put my butt on that seat even if it had been purified with holy water right in front of me. The only thing those tissue paper seat protectors are good for is drying your hands when the dryers are broke and there are no paper towels. Even then it takes a good twenty of them wadded up into a ball to be effective.

I'm going to have to start scoping out construction sites on the way into work. At least in a porta-potty I'd have some privacy.